The Lonely Hour

Season 4, Episode 6: An ER Nurse—and Mother, and Wife—Works Through Crisis

It's a strange time for all of us, but only healthcare workers know the particular stresses of caring for sick people right now—and what it feels like to put themselves at risk for contracting coronavirus every day they’re at work. In our final episode this season, nurse Mary-Elizabeth Suarez records from the ER at Stanford Hospital.

Season 4, Episode 5: One Story of Food, Friendship, and Caretaking in the Time of Corona

Kimberly Chou was already experiencing a period of uncertainty this winter. Now we all are—and the stakes are high. Those of us who are lucky enough to be at home are seeking comfort, and Kimberly is finding it in food and gift giving. Plus: Understanding how the pandemic has impacted the restaurant industry.

Season 4, Episode 4: Single Life and Skin Hunger in Isolation

It’s hard not to think about touch right now, when it’s something so many of us are craving and can't have. In this episode, we explore physical contact, relationships, and single life during the era of social distancing.

Season 4, Episode 3: One Family Successfully Quarantines and Finally Touches Again

In our next isolation diary, host Julia Bainbridge's father records from the Maryland countryside, before and after quarantining from the rest of the family. Also: a relaxation meditation to help reduce anxiety right now.

Season 4, Episode 2: Finding Moments of Joy During Coronavirus Lockdown

We hope you liked the last episode. It was a bit of a departure for us, but now we’re going to get back to what we think we do best, which is sharing other people’s stories. In this case, their stories of social distancing and isolation.

Today, the Walking Dead actress Pollyanna McIntosh chooses joy over stress while sheltering in place in Los Angeles. "When I do feel overwhelmed by the enormitude of the pain and suffering that's going on out there from this thing, along with everything else, it can feel quite overwhelming in the chest," she says. "And I think where my mind always goes is, 'Well, do you want to add to that mass stress or do you want to put out some good vibes?' And good vibes, thank you, is the bloody answer." Let Polly be your guide to finding happiness in the small things right now.

#36 Finding Moments of Joy During Coronavirus Lockdown

Season 4, Episode 1: The Era of Social Distancing

Hi, everyone. The Lonely Hour is back.

We're all trying to stay healthy by staying apart from one another right now, and that’s the right call. But we worry about the mental health issues that will worsen. Habits are hard to break, and, right now, we're getting into a habit of being alone. This is dangerous for a species that's hardwired for connection.

Fortunately, lots of efforts are being made to help those in need. And this episode is one of the ways we’re trying to do the same. The following episodes in this series will be truer to the DNA of The Lonely Hour, but we can't share them without first taking what we're facing seriously, and addressing what some of you have been telling us are your more urgent needs. Some of the segments in this episode are meant to help you get through this period of isolation, some are light and hopefully entertaining, and some will soothe you.

Be well. And, please, if you are able, if you have one, stay home.

#35 The Era of Social Distancing

Inner Lives: The Importance of Doing Nothing, with Jenny Odell

The fourth and final episode—for now—of our four-part mini-series, Inner Lives, is live.

In an era when we're seemingly busier than ever, we're inundated with content, we're performing on social media, how do people maintain their inner lives? There are plenty of columns out there dealing with how to manage emails, commutes, and chores, and relationships with colleagues, friends, and family members—and we love reading them. But, as we do so, we find ourselves thinking: What about our relationships with ourselves?

Today, Jenny Odell, author of How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, talks about wandering, observing without judgment, and letting go of the idea that time is money.

#34 The Importance of Doing Nothing, with Jenny Odell by The Lonely Hour

Inner Lives: How Loneliness Tells You Where to Go, with David Whyte

The third episode of our four-part mini-series, Inner Lives, is live.

In an era when we're seemingly busier than ever, we're inundated with content, we're performing on social media, how do people maintain their inner lives? There are plenty of columns out there dealing with how to manage emails, commutes, and chores, and relationships with colleagues, friends, and family members—and we love reading them. But, as we do so, we find ourselves thinking: What about our relationships with ourselves?

Today, poet and philosopher David Whyte discusses his inner life and the importance of loneliness: "I've always felt that when you do feel loneliness, it's always a kind of inverse measure of what you actually belong to," he says. "[I]t actually tells you where to go."

#33 How Loneliness Tells You Where to Go, with David Whyte by The Lonely Hour

Inner Lives: And the Outer Life, with Priya Parker

The second episode of our four-part mini-series, Inner Lives, is live.

In an era when we're seemingly busier than ever, we're inundated with content, we're performing on social media, how do people maintain their inner lives? There are plenty of columns out there dealing with how to manage emails, commutes, and chores, and relationships with colleagues, friends, and family members—and we love reading them. But, as we do so, we find ourselves thinking: What about our relationships with ourselves?

Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, shares how discussing her childhood dreams with her mother equipped her with the tools to deeply understand what it is that she desired. "I think exploring other worlds, whether it's dream, or whether it's something like tai chi or painting...can be a helpful metaphor to help you understand your own life."

#32 How a Healthy Inner Life Improves the Outer Life, with Priya Parker by The Lonely Hour

Inner Lives: Why Boredom Leads to Creativity, with Manoush Zomorodi

The first episode of our four-part mini-series, Inner Lives, is live.

In an era when we're seemingly busier than ever, we're inundated with content, we're performing on social media, how do people maintain their inner lives? There are plenty of columns out there dealing with how to manage emails, commutes, and chores, and relationships with colleagues, friends, and family members—and we love reading them. But, as we do so, we find ourselves thinking: What about our relationships with ourselves?

Today, Manoush Zomorodi, host of the Note to Self podcast and the author of Bored and Brilliant, makes the case for rethinking our digital habits and being more purposeful about putting boredom into our lives. "It occurred to me that I was never bored anymore since I had gotten an iPhone," she says. "It made me wonder if these very human states, if we got rid of them, what would be missing?"

#31 Why Boredom Leads to Creativity, with Manoush Zomorodi by The Lonely Hour

Season 3, Episode 4: The Loss of Faith and a Marriage, the Gaining of an Identity

This is the last episode in our four-part mini-series about going off the grid in search of solitude. We finish our group of explorers, people who broke away to take a moment–or a week, or a month, or even a couple years–with James. (We have agreed to keep his last name confidential.)

Having grown up in a born-again Christian community with strict rules governing how best to live, James finally woke up to the fact that he didn’t know himself—and that his marriage was crumbling. He turned inward, retreating to a cabin in the Catskills, to figure it all out.

If you want to support the show, check out our Patreon. Thank you for believing in the The Lonely Hour!

#30 The Loss of Faith and a Marriage, the Gaining of an Identity by The Lonely Hour

Season 3, Episode 3: Facing Dead-of-Winter Maine Alone in a Tent

In this episode, we continue with our group of explorers, people who broke away to take a moment–or a week, or a month, or even a couple years–to get some perspective.

Brandon Baltzley is the chef and co-owner of a restaurant called the Buffalo Jump, in East Falmouth, Massachusetts. It started as a pop-up, and right before he brought it to life as a brick-and-mortar space last spring, he left.

Brandon wanted to sober up, and he wanted to do it for himself. Most forms of recovery require community and structure–not going at it alone–but Brandon felt strongly that that's what he needed. And so, in the the middle of January, he went to Denmark, Maine, to stay in what was basically a tent. The idea was that he’d have to put down the bottle in order to survive the elements.

If you want to support the show, check out our Patreon. Thank you for believing in the The Lonely Hour!

#29 Facing Dead-of-Winter Maine Alone in a Tent by The Lonely Hour

Season 3, Episode 2: One Month—No Schedule, No Internet, and No Electricity

March 20, 2019

Have you ever gone off the grid to reset? Today's episode is about how losing both parents, navigating the transition of her only sibling, and extreme burnout led film producer Annabelle Dunne to seek solitude in Sri Lanka with just a cot and 17 books—and what it taught her about how she should lead her life now that she’s back home.

If you want to support the show, check out our Patreon. Thank you for believing in the The Lonely Hour!

#28 One Month—No Schedule, No Internet, and No Electricity

Season 3, Episode 1: Looking for Clarity Halfway Around the World

February 6, 2019

Today, we launch a four-part mini-series about going off the grid in search of solitude. This is different from a solo vacation; the stakes are higher, in these cases, because our guests are looking to reframe their lives and get some perspective. Will the sacrifice of leaving their families, friends, and familiar places pay off? They’ll get swaths of time during which they can be with themselves and figure things out, but there's a risk, because they’ll also experience loneliness. Is there an upside to that loneliness?

We begin to explore all of that with Kamey Butler. After a decade in New York working as a talent agent and a producer in fashion and a loss in her family, Kamey tried to regain control the only way she knew how: She bought a one-way ticket to Cape Town.

Support the show through our Patreon. Thank you for believing in The Lonely Hour!

#27 Looking for Clarity Halfway Around the World by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 12: 'Abandon Me' Author Melissa Febos

June 14, 2017

Melissa Febos is an author as well as an Assistant Professor of Creative Writing at Monmouth University and a faculty member of the Institute of American Indian Arts. She’s also a former heroin addict and dominatrix, who worked for four years in a midtown New York dungeon. Her latest book, Abandon Me, details the way in which her birth father’s leaving the family marked her with compulsion and an instinct for self-erasure. Melissa searches for identity in drugs, in writing, and in an obsessive love affair. Ultimately, she loses herself in that other person.

Katie Shepherd from What’s Happening Here, another Listening Booth show, interviewed Melissa for this episode of The Lonely Hour—our last one in season two.

#26 The Abandoned: Melissa Febos by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 11: Jennifer Romolini, 'Weird in a World That’s Not'

June 7, 2017

Jennifer Romolini is my former boss. Well, she was my boss’s boss, really, at Yahoo, over two years ago, and she was a strong but empathetic figure. Her media career before and after Yahoo has been impressive, but she moved to New York as a self-proclaimed “awkward 27-year-old misfit,” the skinny, long-limbed daughter of a working-class Philadelphia couple. Her new book, Weird in a World That’s Not, which is part memoir and part career guide, begins, “I am not supposed to be here. I spent the first 28 years of my life as a fuckup and a failure. I failed and I failed and I failed.” So how did she become my boss’s boss? How did she grow HelloGiggles’ traffic by 500 percent, as the website’s editor in chief? How did she get to the point where she wrote a book about professional success?

#25 Weird in a World That's Not: Jennifer Romolini by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 10: Christopher Knight, 'The Stranger in the Woods'

May 24, 2017

At 20 years old, Christopher Thomas Knight drove to the woods in central Maine and then left his car—and the world as most of us know it. He made himself some crude shelter, he stole food from vacation homes located nearby, he read stolen books, and he just…lived. Alone. Voluntarily. For 27 years.

Michael Finkel shares Knight’s story in his new book called The Stranger in the Woods—and he shares it with us, today. Listen below.

#24 The Hermit: Christopher Knight by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 9: Brooke Russell, the Hidden Figure

May 17, 2017

We can sleepwalk through life, can’t we? Then something wakes us up. We look in the mirror, or a friend speaks the truth, or, in Brooke Russell’s case, she stepped on the scale. She couldn’t believe what she saw; she was a stranger to herself.

Hear Brooke tell her story about addiction and overeating, and how she shut herself away after putting on weight.

Listen on iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | GooglePlay | PodBean

#23 The Hidden Figure: Brooke Russell by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 8: Musician David Bazan on the Loss of Faith

May 10, 2017

I’ve long wanted to put together an episode exploring loneliness and creativity. Artists, perhaps especially writers, as we explored in season one, often need to be alone to produce their best work. When my team and I set out to find a subject to interview for the show, our producer, Chris McCleod suggested musician David Bazan.

David is a singer/songwriter who spends about half the year on tour. He used to do this with a band, most notably Pedro The Lion, but over the last few years, David’s solo work has gained momentum. So that means more time, well, solo.

I handed the reins over to Chris for this interview, not only because he’s a longtime fan, but also because, like David, Chris comes from an evangelical Christian background. Stick with us and you’ll find this interview takes a pretty mind-blowing turn.

#22 The Once-Christian Musician: David Bazan by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 7: Aimée Lutkin Asks, "When Can I Say I'll Be Alone Forever?"

May 3, 2017

Aimée Lutkin, a comedian and a writer based in New York City, wrote an article for Jezebel in December that asked the question, “When Can I Say I’ll Be Alone Forever?” I was drawn to it because I’m single and am trying to get comfortable with the idea that that might be always be the case, but also because of the way Aimée explored that idea: honestly, both without self-pity and without a sugar-coated ending. She basically said: “I haven’t dated anyone in a long while, I’m not sure I will again, because it doesn’t seem to be working out, and I wish people would allow for me to say that, because for one, it’s a true concern, and secondly, my life is pretty rich as it stands, and that should be acknowledged. It is by me. I wish it were by other people.” This episode takes the shape of a chat between the two of us. Listen below.

Also in this episode: A frank chat about loneliness and creativity, courtesy of Love Bites Radio. Listen as Loves Bites host Jacqueline Raposo, outgoing executive director of the Heritage Radio Network Erin Fairbanks, writer Jen Doll, and Bloomberg News reported Lindsey Rupp discuss.

#21 The Alone...Forever?: Aimee Lutkin by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 6: George McCalman and Racism in the Workplace

April 26, 2017

George McCalman is an artist and graphic designer—a black artist and graphic designer—and today’s episode is all about him feeling that way, as an other, for the first time.

Our awareness of an "ism" can lead to loneliness, and in George’s case, that ism was racism. After living much of his life in New York City feeling part of the community, he suddenly felt like an outsider, because of an episode at a magazine where he worked in his twenties.

#20 The Representative by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 5: Kat Turner and the Life of a Private Chef

April 14, 2017

The Lonely Hour is back with new episodes! We've missed you. Hell, we've missed us.

Now, enough with all that.

This story is all about Kat Turner, who is at a real turning point in her professional life. As her friend, I have been watching this happen for the past couple years, and now, just at the time we got her to participate on the show, she’s gaining confidence, taking charge of the change she’s been toying with making.

Terence Mickey, host of the Memory Motel podcast, talks to her about that—the loneliness of being a private chef, and how it doesn’t exactly fit her out loud and proud nature—and what Kat plans to do about that.

#19 The Invisible Chef by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Bonus: Happy Holidays!

December 23, 2016

I know I said The Lonely Hour was taking a break until late January, and that’s true, but I wanted to say two things: merry Christmas and happy New Year.

The holidays can be lonely times if you’re not with friends or family. And even if you are surrounded by people, it can be important to take some time for yourself. In this little bonus episode, my producer, Chris McLeod, talks about how he does that.

Also on this episode, we hear some voices from the past. Matt Gross, Rachel Mennies, Jamie Feldmar, Stephen Satterfield, and Charlotte Druckman—all writers from The Lonely Hour’s summer essay series, Alone, Together—endeavor to define what loneliness means to them. Because understanding the distinction between loneliness and alone-ness is one of my goals with this show.

The Holidays by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 4: Reid Whitten, the Expat

December 7, 2016

Reid Whitten, an international trade lawyer, willingly moved to his firm’s Brussels office. Three years later, expat life has turned out to be lonelier than he anticipated.

In a case of life mimicking life, I’m facing the very same issues as Reid. I wrapped my interviews with him way before leaving New York for Atlanta last month, and now my situation mirrors his. Listen on to find out just how, exactly.

#17 The Expat by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 3: Samantha Silva Talks Leaving Her Marriage

November 23, 2016

Is it easier to leave or to be left? It’s an ongoing debate, one that has no real end because every partnership so unique. There’s a kind of loneliness that comes with being broken up with, and there’s another kind of loneliness that comes with being so unhappy in a relationship that you end it. In this episode, writer Samantha Silva talks about her loneliness, as the leaver.

Also in this episode, artist Payton Turner discusses her original works for this second season of The Lonely Hour. Payton’s responsible for our logo, too. (Do you like it?)

#16 The Loneliness of the Leaver by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 2: Jillian Keenan, 'Sex with Shakespeare'

November 9, 2016

Jillian Keenan published her debut memoir, Sex with Shakespeare, earlier this year. In it, she details her coming to terms with her lifelong spanking fetish, a process that was, among other things, lonely making.

But there’s an extra layer to Jillian’s story: Like around 60% of American minors, she was disciplined as a child by the occasional spanking. For someone who believes her fetish is innate, though, as Jillian does, this means that every time she was spanked, an unwanted sex act was taking place.

Any kind of sexual violation is horrible, of course, but there’s an acute kind of loneliness to feeling sexually violated with no sanctioning from society. And with no sanctioning from your own family. Jillian’s is a story of unacknowledged trauma.

#15 The Spanking Fetishist: Jillian Keenan by The Lonely Hour

Season 2, Episode 1: Our Host, Julia Bainbridge

December 26, 2016

Season two of The Lonely Hour is alive! I’ve joined up with the team at The Listening Booth, home of Memory Motel and What’s Happening Here, and we can’t wait to show you what’s in store; we’re going to discuss expat life, solitary confinement, fetishism, divorce, and much more. The format is changing—most episodes will run under fifteen minutes—and each discussion will be sharper and tighter (we hope!).

First, though, a kind of intro episode. I realize, looking back at season one, that there was a big question I didn’t answer. It’s a question that I get from people every time I describe the show to them, and it’s an obvious question to want to know the answer to when you’re talking to someone who has created a show called The Lonely Hour.

Why am I doing this? What’s my stake in this podcast? Why am I on this journey?

In this first episode of the show’s second season, I attempt to answer that. Have a listen and let me know if it resonates with you. And after this, I’m going to shut up for a while and let other people tell their stories as the season continues.

#14 Our Host, Julia Bainbridge, Tells Her Story by The Lonely Hour

Alone, Together: Charlotte Druckman

October 12, 2016

It’s our last essay reading in this Lonely Hour mini-series. First, though, a little housekeeping:

As we head into season two in a couple weeks, we’re starting a new Lonely Hour feed on iTunes and Google Play. If you’re already subscribed, you’ll need to re-subscribe to the new feed marked NEW in all caps. That's where all future episodes will go from here on out—plus the one you’re listening to now will disappear in a few weeks, so don’t wait!

Unfortunately, during this switch-over process, we'll lose all your iTunes reviews and rankings. So when you subscribe to the new feed, please take a minute to let us know you love the show—or whatever else you think of it, really.

Now: hoodies. Writer Charlotte Druckman loves them, so much she wrote an ode to them for our Alone, Together essay series over the summer. Listen to her recite a portion of “A Hoodie Is a Haven” below, and read the rest of it here.

The Lonely Hour #13: Charlotte Druckman's 'A Hoodie Is a Haven' by The Lonely Hour

Alone, Together: Stephen Satterfield

September 28, 2016

Welcome back to The Lonely Hour’s pre-season two mini-series. This is the fourth of five essay episodes—we’re getting close to launch!—and it’s actually a poem, by writer and activist Stephen Satterfield.

Stephen was inspired to write “Lonely Our” after he and I finished dinner together at Roman’s, my favorite neighborhood restaurant. Really, we spent the whole time ogling a man dining alone at the bar, trying to figure him out. We projected all sorts of stories onto him. This is one of them.

The Lonely Hour #12: Stephen Satterfield's 'Lonely Our' by The Lonely Hour

Alone, Together: Rachel Mennies

September 14, 2016

Welcome back to The Lonely Hour’s pre-season two mini-series. This is the third of five essay episodes; I had commissioned the pieces over the summer, and I’ve picked a handful of my favorites to be read to you by the writers themselves. The first was Jamie Feldmar’s “I’m Not Lonely, But I’m Not Bragging” and the second came from writer and professional traveler Matt Gross.

Today we have “On the Fence” by Rachel Mennies, a writing professor at at Carnegie Mellon University. “The main difference between myself and my tenure-track office-mates, besides their heightened job security and income, is our degree of isolation,” she writes. “I’ve never met any of the faculty in my wing, though they appear to know each other.” Listen to her read the rest of her essay below.

The Lonely Hour #11: Rachel Mennies Is 'On the Fence' by The Lonely Hour

Alone, Together: Matt Gross

August 31, 2016

Welcome back to The Lonely Hour’s pre-season two mini-series. This is the second of five essay episodes; I had commissioned the pieces over the summer, and I’ve picked a handful of my favorites to be read to you by the writers themselves.

Last time, I shared a piece called “I’m Not Lonely, But I’m Not Bragging” from Jamie Feldmar, and now I’ve got one from Matt Gross, a food and travel writer as well as the former editor of BonAppetit.com and the former Frugal Traveler for the New York Times. Listen to his essay, “I'm Never Alone Anymore, and I Miss It,” which you can read in full here, below.

The Lonely Hour #10: 'I'm Never Alone Anymore, and I Miss It' by Matt Gross by The Lonely Hour

Alone, Together: Jamie Feldmar

August 17, 2016

We're back! Time to subscribe if you haven't already.

Season two of The Lonely Hour will launch this fall as part of The Listening Booth, home to Memory Motel and the forthcoming What’s Happening Here podcasts. In the meantime, we've produced a mini-series of essays on loneliness to give you a little something to chew on. I had commissioned these pieces over the summer—you can read all eighteen here—and I’ve picked five of my favorites to be read aloud by the writers themselves. Each reading is followed by a quick question and answer session between me and the author, too.

The first is from a friend, Jamie Feldmar, who contributed what we ended up calling, “I’m Not Lonely, But I’m Not Bragging.” Listen to her reading below or on iTunes (click here for the episode, and here to subscribe to the show).

Otherwise, stay tuned, because I’ll be sharing our second mini-episode in two weeks. As always, you can find me on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook, and you can also leave me a voicemail at (415) 663-5901—that’s 41LONELY01. Tell me what loneliness means to you, and I may just use your thoughts in a future episode...

The Lonely Hour #09: 'I'm Not Lonely, But I'm Not Bragging' by Jamie Feldmar by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 8: Mental Illness with Kira Asatryan and Kat Kinsman

April 16, 2016

Human closeness is fundamental to our mental well-being, but many people have hurdles to human closeness. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, or addiction, mental illness can be isolating.

“Loneliness could be more of a cause than a symptom in some of our commonly recognized mental health issues. Human closeness is fundamental to our mental well-being. The loneliness that arises from a lack of human closeness could easily bring about any number of presenting problems.”

These words were written by Kira Asatryan, a certified relationship coach, professional coach, and loneliness expert, and my first guest on this episode. Then I talk to Kat Kinsman, the editor at large at Tasting Table and the founder of Chefs with Issues, a site that helps people in the restaurant industry deal with mental health issues. A lifelong struggle with her anxiety led her to write the book Hi, Anxiety, which will be in stores on November 1. Listen to the full episode below.

#08 Mental Illness: Kira Asatryan and Kat Kinsman by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 7: Addiction with Gerardo Gonzalez, Reina Zelonky, and Anne Bainbridge

March 31, 2016

Here’s a quote from late, great, David Bowie, from 2000: "Drinking even one glass would kill me. I'm an alcoholic, so it would be the kiss of death for me to start drinking again. My relationships with my friends and family has been so good for so many years now, I would not do anything to destroy that again. It's very hard to have relationships when you're doing drugs and drinking, for me personally anyway." Those words illustrate the kind of isolation that come along with substance abuse.

In this episode, I talk to Gerardo Gonzalez, the chef at El Rey restaurant in New York City who comes from a family of people who struggle with addiction, Reina Zelonky, a therapist whose work focuses on managing substance abuse and healing relationships, and my mother, Anne Bainbridge, who is three years sober.

#07 Addiction: Gerardo Gonzalez, Reina Zelonky, and Anne Bainbridge by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 6: Entrepreneurship with Brian Bordainick, Patrick Janelle, and Jill Lindsey

March 16, 2016

According to the Small Business Administration, there are nearly 28 million small businesses operated in the US. And of these, 78.5 percent are individually owned. We idolize the Mark Zuckerbergs of the world, but many of those entrepreneurs struggle through anxiety and loneliness on their way to the top—if they ever reach it.

Brian Bordainick is on his way to reaching it. The owner of Dinner Lab, a member-based pop-up dinner event company that spotlights up-and-coming chefs, his company is growing—and fast. In this episode, I talk to him, to Patrick Janelle of Spring Street Social Society, who was also on our social media episode, and Jill Lindsey, owner of her eponymous boutique in Brooklyn, about the stresses of owning a growing business.

#06 Entrepreneurship: Brian Bordainick, Patrick Janelle, and Jill Lindsey by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 5: The Life of a Writer with Will Chancellor, Andrew Friedman, and Carolyn Murnick

March 3, 2016

The greatest aims of literature were, according to the late David Foster Wallace, to connect, to challenge, and to make us feel less alone. The act of writing, though, is a solitary one; thus a career as a writer involves a lot of time spent alone.

As another great writer, Ernest Hemingway said at his Nobel Banquet speech in 1954, “Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.”

In this episode of The Lonely Hour, I talk to novelist Will Chancellor (pictured), food writer Andrew Friedman, and upcoming memoirist Carolyn Murnick about whether or not those quotes ring true, and what the writing process is like for each of them. Listen below.

#05 Writing: Will Chancellor, Andrew Friedman, and Carolyn Murnick by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 4: Dining Alone with Jamie Feldmar, Amanda Cohen, and Samantha Rose Widder

February 21, 2016

Over the last two years, OpenTable has seen a 62 percent increase in reservations for tables for one throughout the country. Is this because people like—or are even growing to prefer—dining alone or is it purely circumstantial?

In this episode, food writer Jamie Feldmar, who appreciates a restaurant meal with herself, and a videographer who goes by the name Keff, who produced a short film underscoring his concerns about solo dining, present the pros and cons. Then New York chef Amanda Cohen talks about why she not only reserved the bar seats at her Dirt Candy restaurant for solo diners last week, but also created a special tasting menu for them. And finally, I discuss the most private of private dining situations, eating alone at home, with Samantha Rose Widder. She just finished a masters in food studies at New York University, where she completed a project that studied the emotions connected to this kind of solo meal taking.

Do you like to dine by yourself? We’re all ears.

#04 Solo Dining: Jamie Feldmar, Keff, Amanda Cohen, and Samantha Rose Widder by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 3: Motherhood with Kate Rope, Molly Guy, and Alyssa Shelasky

February 5, 2016

Motherhood is “the state or experience of having and raising a child.” Its very definition implies accompaniment. But motherhood can be a lonely-making experience, whether it’s because of postpartum depression, the pressures of guarding a human life, or the quest to get pregnant in the first place.

In this episode, I first talk to Kate Rope, editorial director of the Seleni Institute, a nonprofit organization that provides clinical care for mothers as well as funding for women’s reproductive and maternal mental health research. Rope also wrote “The Bittersweet Loneliness of Motherhood” on The Huffington Post two years ago, revealing that, for her, the responsibility of motherhood is hers alone. “At the end of every day, when I crawl into bed next to my husband, there is a part of me that stays alert, a little part I save just for my daughters in case they need it—a tiny, stoic sentry who never sleeps and guards her post alone,” she wrote. She expands both on that and on the kinds of services Seleni offers, which is a lesson in the kinds of difficulties that can come with motherhood.

Molly Guy, owner of bridal showroom Stone Fox Bride, was part of last week’s episode on social media, but I initially reached out to her to talk about mothering and about giving birth. “The couple times my husband and I were most connected, whether or not we wanted to be, was when I was giving birth to our kids,” she says in this episode. “It was totally bloody and awful and painful and beautiful and scary and primal and I’m still amazed that I’ve gone through that experience with him.”

Finally, Alyssa Shelasky. She’s a food and travel writer who sold two TV pitches this pilot season: one about dating, the other about woman who decides to have a baby on her own, through a sperm donor. In this case, art imitates life, because that’s exactly what Shelasky herself did. She’s talked about it in this article for New York Magazine, and she goes way more in depth in this episode of The Lonely Hour. Full disclosure, Shelasky and I are close friends, and listening to her tenderness here brings me to tears!

#03 Motherhood: Kate Rope, Molly Guy, and Alyssa Shelasky by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 2: Social Media with Patrick Janelle, Sydney Engelberg, and More

January 22, 2016

Three months ago, Australian teenager Essena O’Neill, who had more than half a million followers on Instagram, quit social media altogether. She left a handful of Instagram posts and changed the captions to teach other teens that “living in a 3D world” is much better than obsessing over photos presenting “contrived perfection made to get attention.”

“I was so hungry for social media validation,” she wrote. “Now marks the day I quit all social media and focus on real life projects.”

This detachment from “real life” was, I imagine, a lonely feeling. Even if I’m wrong, a lot has been written about social media and loneliness, both before and after the O’Neill episode. As one Huffington Post writer put it, “technology has distracted us from the age-old truths of what is most important—true friends whom we can be ourselves in front of, rather than our carefully scripted online persona.”

Does this quote ring true for others?

I first pose this question to Patrick Janelle (pictured), also known as @guynamedpatrick on Instagram. He may have 450 thousand followers on Instagram, but he gets just as lonely as you do. Or as I do. Or as anyone does.

Molly Guy, owner of bridal showroom Stone Fox Bride, also has a large social media following, and while it’s helpful for promoting her business, she doesn’t deny that the perfect world presented on Instagram, for example, has its drawbacks. “The world of social media is not an intimate world,” she says. (PS. Sorry for the ringing phone. Molly is a busy woman!)

Kat Kinsman, editor at large of Tasting Table and the author of Hi, Anxiety, will be on a future episode dealing with loneliness and mental illness, but I had to include in this episode what she said about the intimacy that can sometimes only come from the channels social media provides us. “Strangers come to me in a really vulnerable way,” she says of people who reach out to her about dealing with anxiety. “Because there isn’t the physical awkwardness of meeting over coffee, we can go right to the headspace. There aren’t these layers between us.”

In the more academic turn that this episode takes, Sydney Engelberg, a professor at both the Hebrew University and Ono Academic College in Jerusalem, makes the case that the rise in social media use and the rise in loneliness are directly related. He wrote a three-part series on the loneliness of social media on Psychology Today after this photo of him went viral; listen to hear him connect the dots.

Finally, Anna Caltabiano is only in her freshman year at Brown, but she’s done a lot of thinking on this topic. “At times social media can create a dangerous illusion of being connected,” she wrote on the Huffington Post.

#02 Social Media: Patrick Janelle, Molly Guy, Kat Kinsman, Sydney Engelberg, and Anna Caltabiano by The Lonely Hour

Season 1, Episode 1: Solo Travel with Alan Feuer, Paula Froelich, and Randall Reeves

January 6, 2016

As the New York Times reported in May 2015:

“Some 24 percent of people traveled alone on their most recent overseas leisure vacation, up from 15 percent in 2013, according to the 2015 Visa Global Travel Intentions Study, which was conducted across 25 countries by Millward Brown, a market research organization. Among first-time travelers, solo travel is even more popular, jumping to 37 percent, up from 16 percent in 2013.”

In this episode, New York Times writer Alan Feuer expands on what he wrote about his 400-mile drive on Alaska’s Dalton Highway, which he calls one of America’s loneliest roads. I talk to Yahoo Travel editor at large Paula Froelich, a big fan of solo travel, as seen on her adventure travel web series A Broad Abroad, about “giving myself the gift of reflection” on the road. And I learn what single handing is from Randall Reeves, who plans to circumnavigate both the Americas and the Antarctic in a small sailboat starting in September 2017, passing through four separate oceans and nearing both poles in the process. Oh, and he’s doing it alone.

#01 Solo Travel: Alan Feuer, Paula Froelich, and Randall Reeves by The Lonely Hour